Monkey Mania !

Having a history of harrowing encounters with the monkeys, thought this might as well be narrated thus.

Mania 1: It all started as a High Schooler, during one of the boring and drowsy post-lunch class sessions. Like the rest of the other classmates, me too was struggling my best to keep myself awake, or at least try and sleep with eyes opened, that is when this huge, ferocious looking red-faced monkey showed up from nowhere. One of the side walls of the classroom, which on the outside was an open external wall, was made of concrete only upto the sill level, after which the wall basically comprised of equal- sized, painted metal sheets welded together to form a wall upto the ceiling level. A few metal sheets were converted as ventilation windows, half-opened, but in most classes like the one in question, remained permanently opened or completely removed due to an obvious damage. Hence there was this huge rectangular opening just below the ceiling of the side wall. There was a huge tree outside too, whose branches swayed against this external wall-surface and that is how this Mrs. Redface along with her Redface Jr, showed up suddenly, perched near ventilated opening, giving out a King Kong-like wild cry!

Suddenly the whole lethargic class not only came alive, but needless to say, panicked. Perhaps, instinctual reflexes are at its best when one is consciously alert, but when shaken out of a drowsy lull, the reflexes are mostly numbed, and so I found myself paralyzed, simply transfixed at the horrific sight of the huge monkey, until my benchmates began to literally walk over me!  A few alert ones immediately scrammed out of the class, infact, the teacher was the first to do so.  Well, in the class opposite to ours, the tall geography teacher was explaining a map using a cane as a pointer. On taking stock of the situation, the geo-teacher tried shooing away the Monkey with the cane. Anyway, the mother monkey and her child took their own time in finally leaving us alone. When all the commotion died down and as we re-entered the class, it was in a state of sorts!!! … Shoes, bags, books, lunch boxes strewn and scattered around everywhere. As we picked our things and gathered ourselves, we even got admonished by the teacher -yes, the same who was the first to scram - for reacting so chaotically!!

Mania 2: This one was much horrifying than the above, and happened during the mid-nineties on one of those days when I was on my way hurrying up to participate in a bhajan concert.  The previous evening, I had seen a chained monkey at large, probably missing from her owner’s possession. Obviously the monkey looked trained to do those typical road-shows. As I was walking, I briefly took notice of the same monkey briskly crossing in front of me.  Just after a few seconds of walking ahead, out of the blue I suddenly felt something heavy on my left shoulder and then I felt a pair of non-human hands messing with my braided plait. It took a few shocking seconds to realize that it was this Chaino who had climbed up on my shoulder and was apparently seated, quite comfortable at “home”.

I’d probably scream if accosted by a lizard or a cockroach, but with monkey? That can’t be so. My instant reflexes made me stand as still as possible and stifle even the slightest whimper, forget about letting out a shriek! I must’ve thought that if I stand absolutely still, the damn ape would think that I am a lifeless statue and thus would leave me alone, but the monkey was no fool. It remained seated there on my shoulder busy searching my head, for nits and lice. I surely lost my sense of duration then, but I can now say that atleast for about 1-2 minutes the monkey and I stood there, right in the middle of the street, like a blooming circus! Finally Chaino jumped off to the ground and landed on my feet, putting me in a dilemma whether to pull away my feet and take to my heels or wait for the monkey to make an easier way for me. But Chaino sat there blinking innocently at me, as if expecting me to direct the next action. Even as I was contemplating, the Chaino came up on my shoulder again!!! I was at my wit’s end and broke into helpless tears. I even noticed that a crowd was gathering around me. This time, I walked around crying and begging for help, carrying that monkey on my shoulder. Even in that crisis, I noticed that each of those to whom I approached for help, quickly took a few steps back, lest the monkey might jump on to their shoulder. One gentleman even tried to comfort me by saying “ಅಯ್ಯೋ ! ಕಪಿ ಚೇಷ್ಟೇ ಅಂದ್ರೆ ಹೀಗೆನಮ್ಮಾ  ... ಏನು ಮಾಡಕ್ಕೆ ಆಗಲ್ಲಮ್ಮಾ!” ( "Oh! this is how a monkey plays its pranks ...nothing can be done"). I profusely started sobbing now….

It was my life and it was me encountering a life-threatening situation, and so finally the survival instinct took over me. There was this regular grocery shop nearby. I walked up to the shop – yes, with that Chaino who was now totally accustomed to enjoying the “shoulder-ride”- and requested one of the vendors to throw a handful of groundnuts on the ground. I really can’t remember if they did that or if it was because of the scattered groundnuts, but suddenly Chaino disappeared like a lightening as swiftly as it had come up on my shoulder.

Nearby, there was a house construction that was underway, which had this make-shift house of the security man, into which I barged in without hesitation and firmly latched the door from within. Unwarranted authority arises from acute fear. I announced my decision to the host of that house that I’d stay indoors for a while before I leave, giving them an account of what happened to me.  One of the ladies of the house rushed to my side and anxiously started talking to me in a somewhat unfamiliar telugu dialect, of which I was in no mood to comprehend.  But when she painfully pointed at her utterly disheveled hair, I exactly knew what she was trying to tell me. Thank god, I didn’t have lice and nits as my pets!!!

Interestingly, there were various kinds of reactions from my near and dear ones as and when I shared this incident with them. For instance, my mother analyzed – half humorously - that the monkey was attracted to me because of the sari color. Incidentally, I had worn a china-silk sari that had a bright and a shimmering background of khaki color!!!

When I shared it with my bhajan-mates who were very devout and religious people, they interpreted it as a sign of it being the Maruti’s blessings on me. One of them even contemplated –half seriously - saying “You must’ve been Seetha in your previous birth, did you recently do any hanuman puja or something?” I hadn’t, but later as I thought, around that time before this incident, there was a kannada poem that was published by one of the RK Math monks which went like “ ರಾಮನ ಬಂಟ ವೀರ ಹನುಮಂತ, ರಾಮ ಕಾರ್ಯಕೆ ನಿಂತ ಯೋಗಿ ಬಲವಂತ …” This poem came with a beautiful picture of Shri Rama and Anjaneya embracing eachother, similar to the popular statue  installed in the Ram temple at Hanumantha Nagar, Bangalore. I had grown very fond of the poem with the picture and in those days I was in the spree of trying to memorize that poem”. Much later, when I was yet to heal from the phobia of this incident, believing this incident to be a Maruti’s blessing indeed,  did help me alleviate myself from the lingering victim-consciousness.

The reactions from the BPO genre too was a learning experience though I was unprepared for, being a beginner. Impromptu talking was part of the training curriculum towards up-skilling communication. On one such exercise, we were assigned to share a whacky incident from the past. Naturally, I chose to share this incident and hence whole-heartedly spoke about it. Presumably, it looked like that as a reaction, mischievous and twisted questions were hurled at me, such as “How exactly did the monkey climb? Did it climb from the front or back? Do you share a certain chemistry with the monkeys? Was the monkey a male or a female?” etc. This made me very uncomfortable as it wasn’t clear if they were really asking straight and sincere questions though the questions were totally unconnected  to the objective of the assignment, besides roaring with laughter at their own questioning. It was much later, I began to comprehend the underneath nature of such kind of jokes and the tone of questioning.

Anyway, this is not all! The mania continues …

Vidyaranyapura is a town 6-7 kms away from my place which is notorious for being infested with monkeys. On and off, I visit the place to meet my close friend and also to assist her with the tuition, whenever possible. There have been a couple of times, when I was forcibly stranded at the bus stop, since a family of monkeys often indulge in acrobats, practicing trapeze on the branches of the tree right above the very lane I walk to get to my friend’s place.  No plant pots survive on the terrace of Vidyaranyapura residents and no coconuts remain on the tree to become fully grown, ready-to-use coconuts!!

On one such visit to Vidyaranyapura, just as I was opening the gates of my friend’s house, a monkey dropped a big coconut that missed my head by inches!  The coconut tree is often referred to as Kalpavruksha, a divine bountiful tree, a total-giver. It is often said that the noble tree inherently never allows any of the coconuts, even accidently, to ever fall on a human head ………….. even if it is dropped by a monkey!!!

I pass by a Maruti temple whenever I have to get to the local bus stop. Hence I never miss offering a prompt prayer requesting Maruti to advise his folks to be nicer to me!